Ok, so we’ve spoken in previous blogs about breaking down and burning out due to unrealistic and unhealthy work practices.
We’ve spoken about why blokes do this and what drives them.
Now I think its time we stepped out of our lives and took an objective look at the life we’re creating and the ripple effect we’re having on the people around us.
This isn’t a test! There’s no good or bad or right and wrong – we’re simply trying to get an understanding of your current mindset.
Grab a pen and paper and write down the first things that come to mind when you think of the word success.
Don’t over think it…maybe even close your eyes and see what pops up in the old cranium. Let the hand fly…..any words that you think of, just write them down. No ones going to read or see it so don’t be scared or anxious.
Then come back and keep reading below when you’re done. How’d you go? By definition success means “the accomplishment of an aim or purpose.” Now have a think about why you started your own business or got the job you’re currently doing. What was the aim or purpose?
Now read the list and see if the aim and purpose are aligned with what you wrote down.
I started my own business because I wanted a job where I could:
Use my personal experience with mental health issues to help others
Teach people how to create and maintain a positive state of mind
Have time to attend to the injuries I received in the Army, both mentally and physically
Travel and meet new people
So my list when I think of success looks something like this:
Work with 15 clients per week Write and create content to share with people Be home to cook dinner for family
Exercise before work (walk dog, stretch, gym, Pilates etc)
Travel overseas at least once per year Take a mini break every 6 weeks Never feel like my business is running me
Don’t stress when work is quiet – trust my systems
The two are aligned, and it is a conscious thought that then creates conscious effort. The motivation is vitality based rather than productivity based meaning that its easier for me to get up and go to work instead of thinking it’s a chore and hating it.
I’m not trying to keep up with the Joneses, my ego isn’t in the drivers seat, I’m prioritising my health which puts me in a position to then be a better friend, father, brother, partner, son…and I am ultimately choosing and styling a life I consider worth living.
Sure there are hiccups and challenges to overcome. Sure I can’t tick off that list every single month. But by and large, I’m happy and content within myself which then has a positive ripple effect on those around me.
Having a list like this allows me to check over it every month so I can then monitor where I’m at, what I need to do differently or be reassured that what I’m currently doing is on point.
Without the list, I’m pretty much working in the dark and leaving myself wide open to all the things I don’t want to be experiencing. Kids ignoring me, missus upset, body sore and tired all the time, stressed, angry, reactive, working out of desperation instead of compassion…all things I consider to be unsuccessful. All of that is just what I consider success to be. Jacko down the road may consider success to be having enough money to piss up against the wall every weekend. Johnno may think success is having a driveway full of all the latest and greatest toys.
Whatever you think success is though, take a moment to re-examine it and make sure that its not creating undue stress and strain on either yourself or those around you because if it is, I can guarantee its not worth it. Make sure that you have an aim or purpose and are setting yourself up to succeed by knowing what it takes to fulfil that purpose, then tick it off so you can stay on course. And make sure your definition of success is one that when you’re lying on your death bed, you can look back and be proud of.
Good luck with it and I’d love to hear how you go.
Nick Sutherland is an ex recon soldier turned mental health practitioner and advocate who is on a new mission to educate men on how to create and maintain a positive state of mind. Nick is also the founder of MyndFit. 0448 339 662 firstname.lastname@example.org www.myndfit.com.au